Johnny Carson Quotes

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

Johnny Carson

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Johnny Carson

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Johnny Carson